Always Learning

"Learning never exhausts the mind" - Leonardo DaVinci

"I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it."-  Pablo Picasso

Pre-ADHD diagnosis, I was always trying to complete my higher education. Often times I scored very highly, especially in classes that interested me or classes that were "easier" because of life experiences. But I struggled a lot with staying caught up in homework. I fell far enough behind that I failed a few classes. The consummate people pleaser that I was, took those failings hard and more or less resigned myself that I would not get anything higher than an Associate's Degree.

Fast forward 14 years and I finally found a doctor who listened to me and did not try and put my whole life's existence into a tidy little bow of "depression". So many doctors did that, placing me on one antidepressant after another without any improvement. My doctor listened and tested me for ADHD and Autism, which makes sense since my son has Autism and ADHD, along with several other comorbidities, and my daughter has ADHD as well. The test results came in and I tested very high for ADHD and scored very low for Autism. At the moment of the diagnosis, a wave of validation washed over me. Tears of pride that I never stopped advocating for myself fell from my eyes. In the days following the diagnosis, I went through a period of mourning the loss of missed opportunities and education because I could not properly focus because I was too worried about pleasing every single person around me. 

After the validation and mourning and getting placed on Vyvannse, I began the task of figuring out my place in this world. First of all, on my first day on Vyvannse, I wanted to cry because all the crazy squirrels at an ecstasy and alcohol-laden rave in my brain had slowed down. Like, waaaaaaaaaay down. I was able to complete a thought and communicate without trying to rush. I could be pulled from a task and then return without feeling like I could not complete it. I knew what all my post-it notes meant and felt amazing as I was able to throw each one away as tasks were completed.

I have enrolled in school to complete my Bachelor's in Health and Social Sciences. I have created my own freelance writing and copywriting business. I am excited for what the future has in store.

Learning never stops. We are always learning.